Born Still but Still Born

We have been sick here. Really really sick.

Two weeks ago, Claudia got a stomach bug that lasted on and off for a week. I also got it. That was loads of fun. I only work 3 days a week, so I ended up missing two. One for her being sick, one for me. Craig also had to stay home one of those days because she was so sick.

Then this week, she ended up with a really bad cold. We ended up in urgent care on Thursday and then Thursday night/Friday morning in the ER. Her breathing was horrible, she couldn't stop coughing...it was just all around miserable. I ended up with the cold as well, so two more days out of work. (I am wondering when my work is going to get upset with me??)

We had really good ER staff, though. It was the same ER where I went when I called 911 that day for m miscarriage and things were 100 times better this go-around. But the ER doc? Awesome. I doubt there is anything in Claudia's file that said she had a sibling who died. I mean, he was stillborn so it wasn't like he had some family illness we need to take into consideration with her. She hasn't been seen in this ER before, and only once in the hospital right after she was born. But that was for a lactation consult.

But the doctor was asking us questions about her exposure to things and said "Are there any siblings living at home?"

We were just able to say "No." Without the whole explanation. Because if people ask if she has siblings, or if we have other kids: I do not lie. My answer may be a simple "yes". It may be a more complicated "Yes, but he passed away." To a "Yes, he would be two and a half but passed away." To a long explanation if someone asks what happened.

Maybe this doctor has learned over his time as a doctor to phrase things like this. Maybe he has offended blended families or maybe he has dealt with patients who has have lost children and just has learned how to phrase things over the years.

I don't know. Maybe it was just a fluke he phrased it like that, but after he walked out even Craig said "I loved how he asked if there were any siblings living at home. Just made everything so much easier when it came to answering."

It really did. Because in my state of mind at 4am in the ER; had he asked and had I answered I probably would have burst into tears. So, thank you doctor. That simple-easy to answer- question meant a lot to grieving parents.

She doesn't have a sibling living at home.

But she does have a sibling.