Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Today, I took the day off of work and took Claudia to the mall. They were having a special even where you could meet Dora and have a Christmas dance and sing a long. Claudia loves all things Dora so it was a special me and her time.

While standing in line, there was a grandma in front of us with her 4 grandkids (I am assuming. A few called her grandma and they all looked similar in age). 2 of the little girls were talking to my cousin and her daughter. Somehow the fact came up that my cousin's daughter has 3 older sisters. The little boy of the group, who is maybe 4, then turns to me and says " I have three sisters too." And a few seconds later, he says, "I have a brother who died."

I sat for a second, not sure of what he said.

I asked him what he said and he repeated "I have a brother who died. His name is Nathan."

I was holding Claudia and I said to him "She has a brother who died. His name is Curtis. That is hard when a brother dies."

He nodded and smiled at me.

I said to him "Thank you for telling me about him."

He beamed and went back to playing with his cousins. I saw his grandma give a sweet smile to him.

I have always wondered. I have always wondered what Claudia and Cole will say. Will they mention him with ease like this little boy? I sure hope so. Will it change as they get older? What relationship can or will they have with a baby who left way before they were ever present?

But, I am so thankful I ran into that little boy and his sweet mention of his brother, Nathan. And to Nathan and this little boy's parents: Thank you. Thank you for talking about the son you lost and making sure he is int he hearts of your other children.


Hope's Mama said...

Oh. How sweet. I've come over a bit weepy. I haven't thought about this too much - how my kids will talk about the sibling they never met when I'm not around. I still haven't got it clear in my head how I'm going to tell Angus (and possible future children) at all. Of course I will, and I hope they speak about Hope just as this little boy did, but it seems like such a huge thing to introduce to a toddler. I want to try and get this right as I already feel like I've screwed him up enough :(

loribeth said...

That is so sweet. I love how honest & open children can be. But it obviously starts with the parents being willing to talk about his brother with him.

Ya Chun said...

I luv Loribeth's comment.

That was sweet. I wonder how old his brother was or if it was a stillbirth.

And I think kids need opportunities to express there feelings about this too. It's hard to know what they are thinking or feeling if they never get a chnce to express themselves.

Mirne said...

That made me cry. Really. That what I had hoped Kees would say, about his sister. Then I hoped it was what Jet would say, about his brother and sister. But they never got to say it. I hope your children will remember and talk about their sibling.

Angela Donaldson said...

This brought tears to my eyes that is incredibly sweet. I always wonder what people think when my boys talk about Ethan