Born Still but Still Born

One of the hardest things about being a parent to a child who has died is ....well, you are still their parent. You still want to talk about them. You want to DO things for them. You want to brag about them. I know there are some people who prefer not to mention the children they have lost... but not me. Curtis is an everyday part of my life.

Anytime I have the chance to do something in his memory, I jump at it. The walk is the one time a year I ask/beg/plead with other people to remember Curtis with me. Our families are great, they willingly participate in the annual walk/run with us. I hate fundraising, I really do....but for Curtis, I do. I have spent the last month making my facebook status updates and asking people to donate in memory of Curtis. I ordered personalized tshirts for everyone walking with us (they turned out GREAT!). It is the one time of year I push...I push people to remember our baby boy.

Last week, the founder of the Missing GRACE Foundation asked me to come and record some radio spots promoting the walk. They have looped on a local radio station. I cannot tell you how excited I was to be able to do this...talk about Curtis? Get to record something talking about Curtis that lots of people will hear? You bet!! Anything to talk about my boy.

Here are the clips:
http://hopeandheartsrun.org/minnesota/RadioChantal.mp3
http://hopeandheartsrun.org/minnesota/RadioChantalJulie.mp3

It has been a hard month. My little boy should have started preschool this week. The what ifs ALWAYS haunt. But events like this...well, they ease the pain a bit. We get to take Cole to his first Hope and Hearts walk (well, last year he was there....just in utero!) and take Claudia to her THIRD. We will have a team of friends and family with us.

In grief, there are blessings.