Sunday, September 21, 2008

A deviation from "our story" posts....

I saw this post on a message board from a woman:

So, I was on a message board and saw a thread on "When should I have my baby shower?"Bless her and hope she remains ignorant. (you know what I mean)And someone's response, "You should make sure to have it by 30 weeks because you don't know what will happen!"My response, in my head, "You shouldn't have one until they are here because you REALLY don't know what will happen."And I can't say it out loud because it would be perceived as mean, cruel, terrible, etc etc etc.I see it as realistic.

This made me think.

Recently, I have come to terms with Curtis' shower and nursery and shopping for him and planning for his life. As much as it SUCKED to have planned for his life and face all of that "stuff" after his death, I am glad I had it all. Sure, there are plenty of times I am very bitter about it.

But, there is some good with it all.

It was the one time he was celebrated. It was the one time everyone was happy when it was something surrounding him. So as much as it sucks he died at 40 weeks, I have wonderful memories of his baby shower and I am glad I had it and I am glad I shopped and planned for him. I am glad I did an entire nursery. So, even though we lost him at 40 weeks and I had to dismantle that nursery and pack away little clothes he never got to wear, at least I got a shower.

At least there was a time people acknowledged and were happy about something surrounding him.

Because after his death, that wasn't the case.


Mrs. Spit said...

A great perspective - especially the notion that someone did celebrate your baby. You are right, no one really does afterwards.

Cara said...

Great derivation. I was just writing about this concept this morning.

Should you, shouldn't you, when is too early, when is too late???

Oh, but I tell you, it was the SECOND one that threw me for a loop? I already had all the "stuff" even if I internally labeled it "Emma's Stuff" so why have another big event for the second "who knows what's gonna happen" pregnancy?

We did with a different theme, a "celebrate Emma's memory and welcome our new life" kind of shower.

Natalie said...

I am so so happy I had a baby shower for Devin. It is a wonderful memory of my pregnancy and like you said, everyone got to really celebrate joyfully.... which will not happen again. I learned to enjoy every chance you have... because you may not have another.