So, I do this weird thing since we lost him. I often look at the obits online. If I see someone who has lost a baby I often anonymously sign the online guestbook. People did that for me after I lost him and I did appreciate them reading about our son and taking those few minutes....
But, in doing that, I often reading another announcements. I will find someone who has been preceded in death by their child. My heart sadly hurts for the grief I know they endured. But, what I don't understand is that if the child was an infant, it will state that. It will say "She was preceded in death by infant daughter..." I guess I am confused as to why it says infant. I have never seen "preceded in death by toddler son" or "young adult daughter". Does an infant make people feel better? Does it soften the blow in "others" eyes?
I can hear people "at least he wasn't older" "at least you don't have as many memories when they are just a baby".
I think stating the baby was an infant somehow dimishes the importance of that little life in the eyes of the reader. I can't say for sure, because I read the infant part and my heart hurts SO much for that parent. But, honestly, I think others glance over that. It was just a baby. Just an infant. Maybe even a stillbirth. No one realizes when you carry that child...they are your child. Not just an infant. Not just an infant son. Infant daughter.
I don't want my loss "lessened" like that.