Here it is. October. Heck, close to mid October. It is fall. We are in the home stretch of ending 2006. Moving into a new year. I just don't know. I just don't think 2007 with bring any happiness. It has been close to 5 months since we lost our beautiful son.
Ever since we have lost him, everywhere I turn I hear about other losses. These stories are not prompted by my loss, but new losses. A friend of a friend, a woman online who knows someone... it keeps happening. Over and over. My friend's friend, full term stillbirth. A friend's sister loses her son at 21 weeks, a co-worker loses her baby at 20 weeks, my step-cousin and wife lose their son to a fullterm stillbirth, a friend loses her 11th month old, a friend's friend loses her 3 month old... why are these things happening? I never heard of loss like this before it happened. Sure, there were a few women online, people I don't talk with. I knew their stories. (I posted on some baby boards). Now I am "one of them". All of these things happen after we lose our son.
Each time I hear a story like this, I am shaken. It isn't "oh wow, how sad" it is fall to the floor and cry. Cry for that family. Cry for that baby. Cry for myself.
Why? Why? Why do some of us get slammed this way and others don't?