May is almost here.
Each year I think I am doing okay, and each year I look back and say "What a mess that was!" I already have had a break down recently.
Claudia is understanding more, I know she doesn't understand on the grand scheme level, but she knows enough to talk about Curtis and that does help. Today we were at a tea party My Other Blog and were at a table with a few grandmas and their granddaughters. One asked another little girl how many brothers she had. The grandmother said something about her having a brother who died and they are trying to "encourage" her to be aware of him and making sure to mention him.
I always take the opportunity to mention Curtis when I can, and in an effort to "bond" with this family, I said Claudia had a brother who died as well. The grandma asked what his name was, and she said "Curtis is the brother who died. But he is in my heart. The brother who didn't die is Cole."
It made me smile and giggle a little. She is excited for his birthday trip and asked me "How many he would be" recently. 6. He would be almost 6. I wonder if they would play well together, like Claudia and Cole?
I am glad she talks about him, I want him part of our world as much as he can be, and not have it be sad. It is sad, he died, don't get me wrong. But it is okay to talk about him and just have it be a part of our life. I like that she can do this.
5 comments:
So sorry you got rude comments on your last post. I've never lost a child, but still feel some of those same feelings about letting my child cry at bedtime. Thankfully, we've FINALLY made it past that phase.
Im very sorry for your lost. Your blog is very moving. It makes me feel better that I'm not alone. I agree with the comment above. Im sorry you got rude comments. Losing a child is not easy. It's been eight months for me and it is still hard.
As I plan the birthdays for two of my children here in May, I often think of you and Curtis, and his birthday at the end of the month. It reminds me to pray for you as you continue down this path of loss. I am thankful to know you, and to have learned so much through Curtis' story.
Chantel,
It's because of blogs like yours, that I was able to summon the strength to start one of my own to document our path after the loss of our son Gustavo (Gus). He was born still as well.
I am grateful to you and for being honest and open and braving the insane world and the people in it and for keeping us updated on life after such loss. ! thank you.
Claudia is soooo sweet.
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