Wednesday, March 18, 2009

I have been MIA again.

Round two of the stomach flu hit us. I guess I got kind of cocky. We had it once, back in January. Both Claudia and myself. So I thought we were in the clear. Everyone and their dog has been getting it recently, but we already had it. So when Claudia woke with a fever, I didn't think much of it. Just teeth or another cold, I thought.

She started puking the next day and didn't stop for another week. I got hit with a mild round too.

It was lots of fun, let me tell you.

I do not handle her being sick well. Sure, I can care for her just fine, but it causes me to break down. Every single time. There is the guilt for working part time and sending her to daycare. She wasn't sick a single day of her life until she went to daycare. In the past 7 months she has been in daycare, she has been sick practically every other week. I am so tired of hearing how it will "build up her immunity" too. Everyone says this. My parents, my grandparents, friends, relatives, strangers... it actually sounds like a bunch of crap to me. Everytime I say with a sigh 'She is sick, again." someone spouts this off. All I care about is how sick my baby is all the time. Not what may or may not happen in the future.

I don't know why I can't handle her illness better. This is what I signed up for. This is what I missed with Curtis. Surely he would have gotten sick. There is just this element that you cannot protect them from and illness is one of them.

It is just hard to see your baby in misery. (Over and over).

I will be back soon with another our story post :) I just wanted to check in now that we are all slightly on the mend.


sue said...

It makes sense that you lose it every time your baby gets sick. Heaven help you, you've already lost one baby so each time Claudia gets sick you become scared. You'd be superhuman if you didn't.

If she is sick that often what does her doctor say?

Four Wonders Mommy said...

Just a thought: Is your daycare "clean"? By this I mean how often do the toys, carpets, furniture, windows, changing table get sanitized? I cannot imagine you sending your Claudia to a daycare is nothing less that spectacular but it seems that she gets sick too much for ANY (working) mommy to handle! I know that when kids go to daycare they do boost their "immunity" but come on! I am with you on this one--what seems to be the "culprit"? Ummm.....I missed you on Saturday.

Kristi said...

Sure, the immunity thing is there, but that doesn't mean you'd want to utilize it. I never really worried about the kids' illnesses except when Austin got a horrible virus (now known as Fifth Disease) and was in and out of the hospital for the better part of two months. Other than that, I just chalked it up to "that's how it goes." I might feel differently in your shoes, though. I stayed home most of the time when my kids were little but I will agree with you on the daycare thing. EVERY time they were in daycare they stayed sick. Snotty noses galore!

Don't let guilt get to you. You're bettering her life by providing the income... it all balances out. It's not something you're doing wrong.

Rachel said...

Saw a post you made in FB at the true knot/nuchal cord group. Since I'm also from the twin cities, I had to come check you out. We lost our daughter Felicity Faith in Oct. '08 due to a true knot. She was full term. Check out my blog:
for the full story. I'm off to read about Curtis. Blessings!

Rachel said...

I just got done reading all the portions of "Our Story." My eyes are sore from crying and I'm stuffed up. I'm so sad! Sad for you missing Curtis and for me missing Felicity. Thank you for sharing your story!